Let's Get Ready to ... Rate the Parks?

Now this is original: which Disney park is best?

Maybe not so original, but Ted Tamburo (Teevtee) of Parkeology treats it not tritely in his new series, Thrilla in Parkzilla. (Let me answer tritely: the best park is the closest park.)

Like Don King himself, however, Teevtee doesn't give away the money match up-front. First he presents three rounds of prelims: a series of articles he wrote in 2004 and 2005 for Mice Age that pit the four Disney theme parks against one another in - well, a brawl, since you can't have four fighters in a boxing match.

Teevtee declares a winner in what I'm sure was a fixed contest since my favorite park lost.

Normally, I wouldn't give hullabaloo to such an old article, and especially not to an article in which the author argues an essentially unwinnable issue like which park is best. But Teevtee's piece, despite its age and time-worn theme, is still a joy to read because it's funny, it sticks mercilessly to its metaphor, and it sports some excellent custom graphics, including a blood spatter so authentic I had to pat down my face to make sure it hadn't come from me.

Surprisingly, despite the humor, Teevtee takes his topic seriously, and he even has a 'Judges Scorecard' to explain the criteria he used to evaluate each Disney park.

Hold onto your ear, I mean hat, Buster, and step into the ring...