August 31, 2010
With apologies to Norma Desmond, I hereby hullabaloo more "unknown magic within Walt Disney World" (from the site of the same name).
This time, Bruce swallows hard and tells us about rides in the dark.
Any ride that occurs in the dark, even if it's Peter Pan's Flight, will frighten some children. (Maybe some adults, too. But they've got other problems.) And a ride that's supposed to be frightening, such as Space Mountain, is even more nerve-shattering with the lights out. You can tell me fifty times that Space Mountain isn't nearly as fast as Test Track, but in the dark, baby, that thing moves.
Bruce discusses other dark rides in all four Disney World theme parks, including perhaps the darkest, Haunted Mansion, since in no other attraction is there a long moment of absolute pitch-blackness. The moment happens at the end of the pre-ride show, accompanied by thunder and a bolt of 'lightning' that reveals a corpse swinging from a noose overhead (affectionately known as 'Jimmy' to guests from New Jersey).
My daughter finally conquered her fear of the Haunted Mansion in May. It's now a favorite ride: after you've gone through the dark once you know there isn't anything in it truly scary. Unless, of course, Jimmy comes back to angry life and you see nothing swinging from that noose but do feel a chill, skeletal hand gripping your arm, tightly...
I can't wait to share this hullabaloo with my daughter!
MORE: Unknown Magic Within Walt Disney World (Bruce)
Dream jobs - let's see: Ambassador to a tropical island? Apprentice to Donald Trump? Male lead in new Angelina Jolie film?
I've given up on (most) of those opportunities, leaving me plenty of time to submit a resume for one of the temporary Toy Soldier gigs in Disneyland's upcoming Christmas Fantasy Parade.
Mike Scott of Fresno TV station CBS47 reports that Disney is hiring adults who are currently enrolled in college and who can 'sight-read' to march as musicians in the parade. It helps quite a bit if you can also play either a trumpet or a drum.
The job lasts for two months, November through January, and it looks as if Disney will accept applications, interview candidates, and make their hiring decisions all on the same day, September 4.
If I weren't so sure that Donald Trump will return my call, I'd apply myself.
MORE: CBS47 (Mike Scott)
One year ago today news spread that Disney would buy Marvel Entertainment Group, the folks whose comics got me excited about reading in the early 1970s and later serious about writing.
Has anything really changed since then? Has Marvel (or Disney, your choice) learned to put the toilet seat down when it's finished?
James Hunt, writing for DenOfGeek, has some ideas.
James focuses more on what the match has meant for Marvel than what it has meant for Disney. He claims, rightly enough, that Disney hooked Marvel primarily because of the comic book giant's appeal to boys and teenagers, two demographics that Disney has historically struggled to satisfy.
Although I'm not as plugged into the comics scene as I was in younger years, I still keep tabs on it and agree with James' conclusion that Marvel comics have not visibly prospered with Disney at the helm. If anything, the recent spurt of derivative titles suggests that Marvel is slogging through another of its periodic creative troughs and hopes to weather the crisis by diluting popular characters like Wolverine, the Punisher, and the Hulk (whose dull son, Skaar, has appeared on Earth to combat the super-villain known as the Collective Sigh).
From a park perspective, Disney is hampered by the pre-existing contracts Marvel had with Universal, but even more so it's hampered by the creative conundrum of how to integrate violent comic book characters into its meet 'n greets and elsewhere throughout the parks. Does anyone really want to see Wolverine skewer Piglet on one of his adamantium claws and then have Skaar stomp in to say 'I smell bacon'?
This marriage may need counseling.
DenOfGeek, by the way, is a honkin' big geek site, with nearly 3 million unique visitors per year. Does it surprise you to learn there are so many geeks in the world? Or does it frighten you?
MORE: Den of Geek (James Hall)
Disney's Moms Panel has been successful both as a marketing stunt and as a genuinely helpful service: it takes in Disney questions by e-mail and returns Disney answers on-line.
The selling point of the Moms Panel is slightly paradoxical. Disney runs the Panel, selects the panelists, and provides space on one of its Web servers. But Disney doesn't employ the Moms (or occasional Dad). Each panelist, theoretically, can answer questions with as much candor as they deem appropriate (or political).
No good idea resists replication for long. Amy Eastman of GrowingUpDisney published the first 'meeting' of her imaginatively named Minnie Moms Panel today.
The Minnie Moms share their insights weekly on a given topic (or in response to questions). Their first topic, appropriately enough, is which ride or attraction did your child first experience on his first trip to Disney World. Some of the panelists stray from the topic, but overall it's an interesting first installment in what should become a popular feature on Amy's site.
I'm waiting now for someone to start the Goofy Grandmas Panel.
MORE: Growing Up Disney (Amy Eastman)
Now this is original: which Disney park is best?
Maybe not so original, but Ted Tamburo (Teevtee) of Parkeology treats it not tritely in his new series, Thrilla in Parkzilla. (Let me answer tritely: the best park is the closest park.)
Like Don King himself, however, Teevtee doesn't give away the money match up-front. First he presents three rounds of prelims: a series of articles he wrote in 2004 and 2005 for Mice Age that pit the four Disney theme parks against one another in - well, a brawl, since you can't have four fighters in a boxing match.
Teevtee declares a winner in what I'm sure was a fixed contest since my favorite park lost.
Normally, I wouldn't give hullabaloo to such an old article, and especially not to an article in which the author argues an essentially unwinnable issue like which park is best. But Teevtee's piece, despite its age and time-worn theme, is still a joy to read because it's funny, it sticks mercilessly to its metaphor, and it sports some excellent custom graphics, including a blood spatter so authentic I had to pat down my face to make sure it hadn't come from me.
Surprisingly, despite the humor, Teevtee takes his topic seriously, and he even has a 'Judges Scorecard' to explain the criteria he used to evaluate each Disney park.
Hold onto your ear, I mean hat, Buster, and step into the ring...
MORE: Parkeology (Teevtee)
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