Snow White Plans Final Scary Adventure

Bob tries to hang tough as news of ride demise spreads

- by Bob McLain, January 19, 2011

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I have a hard time letting go.

Books I'll never read, action figures I'll never pose, tools I've never wield.

Most of all, though, I have a hard time letting go of classic Disney World attractions.

I still remember how, as a kid, I was sure the plexiglass porthole on 20,000 Leagues Beneath the Sea would burst. Or how I swore I'd learn to perform card tricks like the folks in the old Magic Shop on Main Street, U.S.A. Memories, now.

Even worse is saying farewell to an attraction that I rode as a child and then rode many years later with my children.

Farewell, Snow White's Scary Adventures.

Disney has torn you up, spit you out, pimped you into purgatory for a new meet 'n greet.

Doesn't Snow White's Scary Adventures qualify as historically significant? People will band together to protest the demolition of their town's crumbling manse, often resulting in its placement on the Historical Register, forever inviolate, so why not this ride?

And what will Disney do with all the wonderful pieces: the boulder, the mirror, the chattering forest critters?

Buck up, Bob.

You've weathered worse. The loss of Jeremy Irons as the narrator for Spaceship Earth was a bigger blow. But there's something about Fantasyland, the beating heart of the Magic Kingdom, that makes this loss more poignant.

You're not supposed to rip hunks out of Fantasyland.

Sure, sure, I'll see the Seven Dwarves again on their new coaster once the Fantasyland expansion is complete.

And won't it be thrilling to roar through that mine, not meander herky-jerky in an old fiberglass car, dreading the whiplash turns and the frequent ride stoppages?

Sure, sure. It's gonna be great.

Don't stop there! More Tidings Await...