FROM: Why Did Disney DO That?!? Published As Necessary

Stroller Derby

When I was a kid, I'd stay up late to watch roller derby on New York Channel 9. As Lee Beatens observes, some of the people who visit Disney World nowadays might have been watching it with me, except they've confused stroller with roller.

- Lee Beatens, July 3, 2011

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"Ladies and Gentlemen, please get your entries ready! Be sure to overload your stroller with extra clothing, diaper bags, and water bottles. Each stroller must have at least one oversized plush. All children must be inserted and grumpy as heck. Remember the rule of the Derby: Annoy everyone!

Please start your child's crying and prepare to push into the crowd..."

Take This Stroller and...

All of us have been run into, run down, and/or run over by a stroller while navigating through the crowds of a Disney theme park. In all fairness, the doublewide monsters that Disney rents are hard to navigate through such an environment. Accidents are inevitable.

And don't get me started on those stroller parking areas. Have you ever tried to walk past one after an attraction lets out? Sheesh!

I feel for you parents, but not as much as I do for my sore shins and run over toes after a day in the parks.

But Disney accommodates parents with small children by providing stroller rentals and grants them full access to all areas of the park. And this is as it should be.

Disney also accommodates those with mobility issues. So we also find many different types of wheelchairs and walkers in the parks. Again, this is as it should be. Our elderly and infirm friends should be able to spend a day with Mickey, too!

Dings from the Disabled

Scooters are a little bit harder to tolerate. These little vehicles can reach some impressive, and I say dangerous, speeds while navigating through a crowd. And I've lost count of how many complaints I've heard from people who have been hit by them!

Of course, more consideration could be shown for the drivers of these vehicles. Giving them more room to maneuver would save us all a lot of pain and suffering! And so Disney quite rightly allows these vehicles in the parks as well.

So why, then, does Disney go to such great lengths to restrict or ban other forms of personal mobility apparatus for the disabled?

No Scootey, No Mickey

I remember reading of a man who was paralyzed and on vacation with his family. He had a revolutionary new mobility vehicle that could move him easily through the crowds and even up a flight of stairs! He was evicted from Disney property even though he hadn't hit anyone or caused any other problems for other park guests.

But his vehicle wasn't on the approved list. So Disney made an arbitrary decision and asked him to leave.

Why did Disney do that?

Do you know what happens when you open a floodgate? Millions of gallons of water come crashing through and nothing can turn it back. I imagine Disney is worried that this will happen with personal mobility vehicles. Make one exception for a vehicle not on the approved list and someone will turn up the next day with a homemade turbo rocket sled!

Or a Segway.

So what is Disney to do? Only allow those who can walk under their own power into the parks? Not likely. Allow everything on wheels with power into the parks? I hope not!

What we really need is a better system to assess the true needs of each Disney guest. That, coupled with responsible operation by the user and more consideration from others, should make this long-standing debate go away.

Which means it's here to stay!

So until some genius comes up with the ultimate solution for accommodating everyone on the planet simultaneously, we will just have to grin and bear it.

And limp home.

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