FROM: On The Edge Published Regularly
Hitting The Links
KMB opens up his new column with a little golf story. I think you'll find this amusing as well as a lesson to be learned.
A Frustrating Day on the Course
The tension was growing. This was the moment. I was lining up a par 3 putt for birdie on the 3rd green. The crowd was silent, but focused. My knees were shaking but I just had to come through on this one. There was no more time to think about it. I just had to apply my best stroke and hope for the best.
Then it happened.
Unfortunately, I hit the ball a bit too hard and it bypassed the colorful u-shaped curve and swiftly flew toward the dancing hippo over on hole 13. It then bounced off the hippo’s tail, headed toward the Sorcerer’s Apprentice, and struck a startled gentleman in the shoulder. Apparently I did not notice that the force of the blow also catapulted his Mickey Mouse hat off his head and into the stream below.
“Why don’t you watch where you are swinging, you idiot!” bellowed the gentleman.
I was a bit surprised at his mood and calmly responded. “I’m sorry, sir. I must remind you that this is Disney World and people are supposed to be happy here! Perhaps you could rephrase your comment?”
“Oh, all right. Why don’t you watch where you are swinging here at Disney World, you idiot!”
Satisfied that I had successfully changed the man’s attitude, I quickly retrieved my ball and headed back to the 3rd green. This was the “Toccata and Fugue” hole and there was no way I would let my wife show me up again on this one! The goal here is to get the ball to strike each chime on the way down to the hole. Not only did she strike each note, but she got a hole-in-one. Again!
Her strategy here was to distract me while I was attempting my second shot.
“You knocked that man’s ears off. Aren’t you going to do anything?”
“I did no such thing! How can a golf ball knock someone’s ears off?” I replied, trying to refocus on my shot.
“Well you did. Look. There are his ears floating by in the stream.”
I wasn’t going to fall for this blatant attempt to lure me away from my intense concentration. “Fine. I’ll play along. What color are they?”
“Black.”
“Well there you have it,” I replied. “That man was clearly Caucasian. Now kindly be quiet while I take my shot. I’ve thought of a strategy!”
“I doubt that,” my wife replied.
“You doubt my strategy?”
“No. I doubt that you thought,” she said clearly showing her impatience.
Just then I took my shot. The ball gently began its arc around the top of the hill and slowly moved toward the chimes. What a beautiful melody was played as each chime was struck in sequence! Finally the ball rolled gently past the last chime and into the cup for a hole-in-one! My day was made! I triumphed after all! I am a success! I have accomplished what my wife had accomplished! I am invincible!
“Don’t forget the penalty point for knocking that guy’s ears off,” my wife reminded.
Perhaps tomorrow will be a better day?
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