FROM: Disney P.I. Published As Uncovered

Shrunken Ned's Junior Jungle Boats

Whatever you do, don't ask Ned how he came by the nickname 'Shrunken'. And don't stare! Just pay your money, walk up to the wheel, and pilot your little boat through a facsimile Jungle Cruise. And if you see Disney P.I. nearby: don't stare!

- by Debra Peterson, July 7, 2011

While I'm on a case in Walt Disney World, I often will go to great lengths to blend in with the crowd. It doesn't help to be ID'ed as a P.I. in the midst of a mystery. For the most part, I try to play the part of a regular Disney guest. Except for maybe the trenchcoat.

Sometimes, though, I get the urge to pass as a Cast Member. After all, who doesn't have the dream of being able to wander the inner Disney World, to explore the Utilidor, to be part of the magic?

I'm particularly susceptive to the dream when I'm in Adventureland at the Magic Kingdom, near the Jungle Cruise.

Maybe it's because I think of the ride's connections with Humphrey Bogart - a personal icon - and The African Queen, the 1951 film that was one of Harper Goff's inspirations for the original 1955 Disneyland attraction.

Then there's my not-so-secret desire to skipper one of those Jungle Cruise boats, especially the Zambesi Zelda. (The name seems familiar...)

I do like to think I could fight off charging hippos by waving a pistol while offering wisecracks. Jungle Cruise would allow me to undertake my own True-Life Adventures, another Goff inspiration for the ride.

Before I go full undercover, I'd need to learn to captain a boat, maybe memorize a bad pun or two. So how can I skipper a Jungle Cruise boat without actually being a Skipper?

Jungle Cruise Skipper Training School

During this initial investigation of going 'Deep Disney' at Jungle Cruise, I discovered Shrunken Ned's Junior Jungle Boats. When I said the name quickly, I was on my way to learning my first pun.

I'd noticed these remote-control boats at the ride's exit - the backside of Jungle Cruise - but hadn't considered them as part of a covert training plan for infiltrating the attraction. On closer investigation, I noticed the area was billed as the Jungle Expedition Skipper Training School, established 1854. Why 1854?

Hmm. I'm not entirely positive Disney uses the date 1854. But that is the year David Livingstone started his transcontinental journey across Africa, including the renamed Victoria Falls and the Zambesi river. Like the Jungle Cruise's Zambesi Zelda. And 1854 is the year Richard Francis Burton and John Hanning Speke started their African expedition, with Somalia. Coincidence or an Imagineering tip of the hat?

Back to the Junior Jungle Boats as Jungle Cruise training. There's almost never a line for this navigational delight. Sure, on the surface this mini-attraction seems geared primarily for children, but I know appearances can be deceptive.

Shrunken Ned's Junior Jungle Boats

On first look, Junior Jungle Boats requires some of the same skills as the Jungle Cruise itself. The waters of the small jungle offered elements seemingly related to the bigger mystery of the big rivers: several tiki god statues, elephant shrines, spears and architectural ruins, a headhunter area, and a volcano. Lots of things to comment on while taking a tour.

I had a plan. Learning to navigate one of these eight miniature jungle steamers would give me the experience for the full-size models. Plus, I might attract the attention of Jungle Cruise Skippers and like-minded guests, maybe gain some valuable Disney informants. Four years of college, and I could learn to pilot a miniature boat. My parents would be so proud.

So I shelled out a few dollars for tokens ($2 each trip). Each token provides a couple of minutes of fun, but I figured I wouldn't need much more than that. I had a driver's license - how hard could navigating a remote-controlled boat be? I took the captain's wheel at one of the numbered skipper stations, spotted my boat with the corresponding number, and put my tokens in the slot.

It was a near perfect plan. Or so I thought.

Low-Speed Boat Chases and a Live Volcano?

One of the first rules of being a detective is to expect the unexpected.

I should have known, then, that the area's reference to Shrunken Ned might predict some hair-raising experiences. He is, after all, the fortune-telling head (of a) witch doctor at Disneyland's Adventureland.

But who knew that it would be so challenging to drive a remote-control boat around seemingly friendly Disney waters?

I found myself in a low-speed chase with several aggressive skippers, moving forward and backward as I attempted to escape the floating 'bumper boats' experience. I was confused - don't the full-size jungle steamers move on a track? Obviously my sharp detection skills had failed to notice this game was an obstacle course where dangers lurked in every obvious corner.

Several tokens later and I was entirely engrossed in captaining my ship, although I was no better a skipper. Between the spear-infested water route, the junior skippers in pursuit, the headhunters, and the volcano, I couldn't remember to crack corny jokes. Being a skipper is serious business.

Oh, yes, I'd certainly been schooled. With a new respect for the Jungle Cruise crew, I realize it'll take a few more spins on Shrunken Ned's Jungle Junior Boats before I leave the big dock as a Skipper. But that day will come, as sure as I'm a dedicated Disney P.I.

Until next time, consider me on the case.

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