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Ashley Metz keeps a special book in her South Carolina chateau. It's called the Disney Book of Stinkin' Love. Into that book she pours her passion for the parks, her devotion to Disney World, and from that book, every week, she'll draw forth with characteristic exuberance a chapter exclusively for Disney Dispatch. Ashley welcomes questions, but no matter what you ask, the answer will always be the same, and it will always be correct: Because I Stinkin' Love Disney World!

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FROM: Because I Stinkin' Love Disney World Published Thursdays

Kali River Rapids

Ashley joins us in the new year with some reasoning as to why getting a little wet on Kali River Rapids isn't the worst thing in the world and might even be a little avoidable.



How's your luck?  Are you finding type?  The person who is always finding four leaf clovers,  homeless $20 bills, prime parking spots amongst a sea of sedans and mini vans?  Or my friend of little luck, are you the person who gets stung by a bee as you pick up what appears to be money but actually is a piece of abandoned bubble gum crumpled into a dry cleaning receipt.  How many times have you seen that prime parking spot only to find out seconds before a crash that the spot wasn't empty at all...thank you fun sized Smartcars of the world!  So, if you have all the luck, then good for you.  If not, this article is probably going to land you in a puddle.  Literally. 

Today we are talking about one of my favorite rides.  It's a wet one.   It's in Animal Kingdom.  Did you guess it?  If you guessed Kali River Rapids then your luck might be looking up!  Here's to hoping!  I love the Kali River Rapids so much because it makes me laugh like there is no tomorrow.  From the moment you enter the queue you know you are in for a soaking good time!  Guests exit the ride smiling and saturated.  Here's the deal, Kali River Rapids takes you through a raging river in Asia.  As you are rushed through the rapids you see geysers, a wrecked logging truck, explosions, and tons and tons of water spraying at/on/near/around/under you and your party  (up to 12 can be seated on one circular raft).    My favorite part of the ride is the 30 foot drop near the end.  I love that little rush amongst the raging river!

Okay, so right now you are probably thinking that I am going to give you good news.  Maybe news like "don't worry not everyone gets wet"  maybe you want to know where the "dry seats" are.  Well, if you are riding this ride, don't look for a dry seat! Every seat is subject to drenching (especially for those of us with well, less than desirable luck). Here are a few of my tips for the wet warriors who take on this ride...

1. Pack a poncho:  Yeah, you might look silly before the ride gets going but trust me you will look pretty smart after the first water geyser.  Especially brilliant after the waterfalls.  And oh so clever after you are soaked by mischievous onlookers squirting you from the bridge above.  And the best part of a protective poncho...you don't have to do the Kali walk of shame.  Instead you leave looking dry!

2. Consider a change of clothes:  This seems like a bit much but, after coming out soaked head to toe (no kidding), I have literally wished  out loud that I had packed an extra set of clothes, at least a shirt.  We ended up under the hand dryers in the ladies room; after about 15 minutes we gave up on that.  I was really tempted to buy a t-shirt or beach towel.  How convenient that they are available for purchasing just after you exit this attraction.  Curious?

3. Put your valuables away:  during the ride make sure to put anything you want to remain dry inside the waterproof cover on your raft.  Remember, chances are anything will get wet.  Don't risk expensive cameras and electronics.  I put mine in a gallon sized zip top bag and then zip it away in my back pack before placing them in the waterproof cover.

4.  Timing is everything:  if you are riding during the summer, just about any time is a good time for this refreshing ride.  Lines for this ride do start forming pretty quickly and on a crowded day you might be in for a bit of a wait.  I think this ride is best as the "last ride of the day".  I say this because I made the horrible mistake of riding it first one day at Animal Kingdom.  Let's just say I wasn't in a mood to ride for quite a while!  I looked and felt like a little wet rat.  But it was SO much fun!

5. Don't have a wardrobe malfunction:  think about what you are wearing before taking the plunge.  This is a wet ride.  If you have especially clingy, white, fancy, white, thin, or white clothes...wait for another day.  I have seen a lot more than I care to at the hands of exiting guests.  Enough said. 

Try out your luck.  Who knows, maybe you'll come out dry.  Probably not .  But maybe!  Until then take a look at this video from SpenceJT's Youtube channel.  It takes you on the ride (riders POV...under a clear poncho).  It is the next best thing (and most dry thing) to riding! 



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