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About the Column

Ashley Metz keeps a special book in her South Carolina chateau. It's called the Disney Book of Stinkin' Love. Into that book she pours her passion for the parks, her devotion to Disney World, and from that book, every week, she'll draw forth with characteristic exuberance a chapter exclusively for Disney Dispatch. Ashley welcomes questions, but no matter what you ask, the answer will always be the same, and it will always be correct: Because I Stinkin' Love Disney World!

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FROM: Because I Stinkin' Love Disney World Published Thursdays

Mickey Premium Ice Cream Bars

Simple pleasures. You don't have to dive into a Dole Whip, lunge for a Lapu Lapu, to put the magic of Disney in your digestive system. There are easier ways, cheaper ways, and Ashley Metz can testify to the power of the Mickey premium bar.

It is hot.

The sun beats down. You see mirages in the distance. Your head spins. Your feet fail. Your body is no longer sweaty - it's swampy.

It's too late for shade. The mister fan makes it worse (especially when you think about how much you paid for it). Your lightweight, summery clothes feel like burlap. You're chafed in places better left unsaid.

Up ahead, another mirage: Karl Malden. "What will you do, what will you do."

Beauty and the Bar

If you're nodding in agreement, then you, my friend, are a member of the "I do Disney in the summer" club. You understand every word I've just written, and yet you keep coming back for more. Some call us crazy for traipsing through the park in such conditions. I don't think you're crazy. You're on a mission; just like me.


Um, will you sell me the one on the sign, with the bite out of it, for less?


Finally, Mickey Premium Ice Cream, you are mine!

Here is Ashley, taking a chomp out of Mickey's chocolate-covered ear.

I'm a teacher, and so usually the only time I can visit Disney is during summer break. I've learned the ropes of dealing with Disney in the heat. I could share plenty of tips, but for today, I'm sharing just one. My favorite. (Disney snack, that is.) The Mickey Premium Ice Cream Bar.

I LOVE them.

And when I'm at Disney, I make it a point to eat at least one, daily. (DAILY!)

The Mickey bar is an amped-up adult version of a 'brown mule ice cream bar' (vanilla ice cream coated in a chocolate shell). I say 'adult version' because the brilliant mind behind this ice cream bar used only the best ingredients. The chocolate coating is thick and rich; it's there to be enjoyed, not merely to hold the ice cream together. And the ice cream! Substantial, thick vanilla that tastes like ice cream and not a frozen, semi-edible filler with a weird after-taste.

Sophisticated taste, fun shape - winner!

The bar is an equal opportunity snack that shows no favoritism. Young, old, male, female; this bar's for you.

Why Doesn't Disney DO That?!?

Which leads me to a dark place; a place you have never seen this girl go. I'm channeling Lee Beatens (love his rants - he's so right on!) and asking why they don't sell these bars outside the park.

If I could buy them at my grocery store, they'd have to run an intervention. But it's the worst thing to get craving for one of these bars at home and know there's no chance of getting one until you head back to Disney. You just have to suck it up.

Trust me, nothing compares to the rich chocolate crunch of the thick coating as your teeth sink their way into bliss. Nothing. I have tried them all. Disney could make a killing (from me alone) if they put these bars in the market. I remember they used to carry them at the stores and even in the ice cream truck. Those were the days!

"I scream! You scream! How come nobody sells this ice cream!"

Okay, okay, rant done...

Ashley Shows Her Stance

I love eating the Mickey bar no matter what season.

And I've developed the perfect summer stance so as to avoid any waste of melting Mickey.

It's an art form.


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